you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize