Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue

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(819): View more from Quebec

He was spoon feeding me wine all night.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people

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(778): View more from British Columbia

i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.

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(813): View more from Florida

I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.

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(530): View more from California

He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull

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