She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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