nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize