i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
