I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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