it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
