When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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