: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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