I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize