Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
