In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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