I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
