And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
