i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
