You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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