wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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