I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
