How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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