WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize