We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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