She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
