let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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