Dual....:-)
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
