I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So much rum. So many feels.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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