I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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