Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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