if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sex in the backyard? Check.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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