We're facebook friends in real life
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
