I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Damn victory sex feels great
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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