girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
