he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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