also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
