the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize