would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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