should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
