I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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