i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
