I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
