Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
