so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
