well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
