I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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