guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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