I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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