id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
