:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
