Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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