Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
