I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
