my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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