an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize