Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
