I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
