your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
