It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
