It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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