We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
