I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can you bring me the toilet please
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
