I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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