He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
