hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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