Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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