when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
